The Many Faces of Me

Well, I had another doctors appointment Monday with the chemo doctor.  Not too much happened there since they won't really know which protocol to follow until after surgery and they get all the pathology reports.  The doctor even commented he didn't understand why I was scheduled to see him except to maybe meet him face to face.  And trust me, this was one doctor I could have waited awhile to meet.  All my doctors have been really nice and have a good personality but I think this one may have taken too much chemo that morning or something. LOL

Anyway, on days that I have my appointments, I am really wore out and so that is why I didn't update that night.  Well, I was going to do it yesterday, but it seemed I was on an emotional roller coster.  Sometimes, I feel like I am on the outside just watching myself to try and figure out what is going on.  I have so many emotional and physical things going on it is just unreal, and the bad thing is that I don't have any "just normal" moments anymore.  I am fighting this battle between the Stacy with cancer that needs to rest and prepare for surgery , and the Stacy that just wants to feel normal and go through day by day just like I have always done.  Then the emotions start to pop up when I realize that I can't handle the normal lifestyle right now and it will be awhile before I can.  It is funny how we can take just our emotional and physical abilities for granted.  I have heard of it before but never new that it was this powerful.

Take now for instance, I am going to have to cut this short.  I just changed over the laundry, folded and put them away, start a new load, and started typing this and I feel exhausted.  I guess I will give into my exhausted side instead of fighting it and rest.  Again, I would like to thank everyone for all their help, words of encouragement, and prayers.
Love you all and God Bless!